Planning 101 20th October 2017

Wedding Roles: The Mother of the Groom

mother of the groom, wedding roles, wedding duties, mother of the groom duties

Image Source: Mint Photography

Image Source: Hudson Nichols Photography

It’s undeniable that most films, TV shows, magazines, and other sources of wedding inspo put a lot of focus on the bride and, in turn, her mother because she’s quite often one of the bride’s main sources of advice and support. However, in reality the groom and his family do a lot of the exciting (and sometimes hard) work too. In this case, we’re looking at the role of the mother of the groom and finding out what her responsibilities and jobs are when it comes to the couple’s big day and all the planning that goes in to it. 

1. She said yes! One of the first responsibilities of mother of the groom is to make sure she gets word out about the engagement to the groom’s side of the family and the grooms family friends. A top tip would be to make sure that closer family and friends find out directly (over the phone or in person) as early as possible so that they feel included and valued; don’t leave it to a Facebook post! 

2. The more the merrier! When your son gets engaged it officially means your family is about to grow with the introduction of a daughter in law. Why not make the most of this exciting change and branch out to her side of the family? A new responsibility of mother of the groom that is growing in popularity is to extend an invite to the bride’s family so that the two can meet and form relationships in anticipation for the upcoming nuptials and lifelong bonds that are to follow. Organising dinner or drinks is a great way to do this! 

3. Mum(s) know best! A fun responsibility of mother of the groom is to be a source of advice for not only the groom but the bride as well. Offer suggestions, advice, and solutions to any queries, questions or problems. However, it’s important to remember that your most important responsibility is to be a dedicated cheerleader; support the couple's decisions and help them feel confident and excited about their special day!

4. Perhaps your family comes from a long line of Italians of which carry the tradition of the groom choosing the bouquet? Or you have a family tradition of rose petals being thrown for good luck? Ethnic, religious, and family traditions can play a very important and valued part of wedding ceremonies and receptions. As mother of the groom it’s your job to make sure these special traditions are suggested to the couple to make their wedding day even more personal and special.

5. Where is everyone? With all the stresses of wedding planning underway, it’s very likely the couple may forget to invite the odd family member here and there. As mother of the groom you play a vital role in helping to make sure everyone who needs an invite, gets an invite! Create a list of names of potential guests from the groom’s side of the family to give the couple a helping hand. It’s also a good idea to gather as many addresses of these guests as possible to save the couple extra hardwork when sending the invites out. 

6. One of the most special parts of the wedding day for both the mother of the groom and the groom is the mother and son dance. Whilst planning the reception it’s the mother of the groom’s responsibility to suggest some songs that are meaningful and special to the pair for this dance. Go with what feels right; this is your moment! 

7. The two mums on the big day will almost definitely garner a lot of attention and, especially, a lot of congratulations. Traditionally, the mother of the bride picks her dress first and then lets the groom's mother know what her dress is like so that the two can avoid a clash. Therefore, it’s important that the mother of the groom maintains communication with the mother of the bride when it comes to outfits on the big day! 

8. Traditionally, the groom’s family pays for the engagement and weddings rings. If the couple are choosing to follow this tradition it is the responsibility of the mother of the groom to find out the couple’s preferences, set a budget, and give advice when it comes to purchasing the rings. 

9. Practise makes perfect! It is typically the responsibility of the groom’s parents to hold the rehearsal dinner. In this role, the mother of the groom needs to make sure the dinner is planned out perfectly, all guests are in attendance, and back up plans are in place for the big day. 

10. It’s happening! As the wedding begins the mother of the bride will be escorted down the aisle to the front pew before the ceremony starts. A nice touch is for the groom or member of the groomsmen to carry out the escorting of the mother of the groom.

11. Time to celebrate! As the wedding reception begins, it is typically the responsibility of the mother of the groom to stand between the bride and the bride’s mother at the entrance to greet guests upon their arrival. This is a great way to speak to all the guests and to make them feel welcome! 

12. Finally, although not traditional, the mother of the groom giving a speech is quickly becoming a popular trend at wedding receptions. So, if you’re an upcoming mother of the groom don’t be afraid to prepare a speech to congratulate the couple and welcome the bride into your family…you can even throw some funny stories in for good measure!