Top 10 Wedding Clichés
1. Being Late Huge wedding cliché. Yes, it may be traditional for the bride to be a little late on her wedding day, but we’re talking 10 minutes after the allotted time, not 2 hours! Being more than 15 mins late is not only rude to your guests but also may have implications on your suppliers and carefully planned timetable for the rest of the day. Besides, you’re marrying your man, you should be chomping at the bit!
2. The Entrance Music Pachelbel's Canon and The Wedding March. Enough already!
3. Forgetting the Rings Please don't leave it down to your Best Man to remember the rings… have the mother of the groom keep tabs on the matter, you can always trust a woman.
4. Saying The Wrong Name This genuinely happened at my cousin’s wedding (thankfully the error was made by the vicar and not my cousin) to this day we’re in doubt as to whether she actually is married to somebody named Nigel and not to her husband, Simon. CRINGE.
5. The Speeches There are so many potential clichés to be found in speeches. Here are a few we suggest you forward to all speech givers… ‘ I’m not losing a daughter, I’m gaining a bathroom’ ‘ It’s been an emotional wedding, even the cake’s in tiers’ ‘ If I’m the best man why have you married him?’
6. Drunk Pervy Relatives There will always be one distant relative or friend of the family making inappropriate remarks to your bridesmaids, or about your wedding night. It’s such a cliché but is all too often the case. BLEUGH.
7. Any Of These Pictures Please. Just don’t.
8. Cutesy Poems on the Invites If you’re considering having something dished out on your invites to request money/vouchers, please, reconsider. A simple note will do, and these are so clichéd it hurts.
9. The Glowing Bride We’re aiming for the ‘best version of you’ on your wedding day, so best to not to over-do it with the spray tan or stand up microwave a few days before. Orangutan brides look ghastly in white.
10. The ‘Surprise’ First Dance You know the one where it begins like any other smushy slow dance (to something like Robbie Williams, Angels) and then WHAM it suddenly evolves into a highly rehearsed, upbeat, funky dance to ‘Baby Got Back’. Ouch.