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The Pros and Cons of Having a Joint "Do"


1st March 2015
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Otherwise called a “sten” or “hag” do (delightful I know!) These joint parties haven’t really caught on as trend, but that doesn’t mean that lots of couples aren’t choosing to go for them. For example, Poppy Delevingne and James Cook had a joint celebration at Coachella festival. What’s the idea behind a sten do though?? I hear you ask. Well, as I said before, a sten do happens when essentially the bride and groom decide to merge their individual parties into one (hen+ stag = sten.) The idea behind them can vary. So to explain it in further detail and to help you decided whether it’s an option you want to go for, I have broken it down into a list of pros and cons below…

Pro – Cost effective


Having a joint do can be very cost effective if you’re all in a big group and are planning to go away somewhere. For example, renting a house or cottage becomes a lot easier with a big group: the more people pitch in, the more money everyone saves! Plus splitting things like buying booze and snacks for the house means that people won’t break the bank and there’ll be plenty to share.

Con – Overcrowding


Having two groups can get very crowded. So make sure you think about your numbers before you send out the invites. Especially if you plan to do activities together: some places don’t cater to large groups and some venues can be reluctant to take on large mixed gender groups. So if you’re planning to merge parties then think about your group size (and maybe be on your best behaviour when you turn up at the event!)

Pro – Great icebreaker


If there are some of his friends that you’ve never met before (and vice versa) then this is your chance to meet them. It’s also a good time for the bridesmaids and groomsmen to meet beforehand too. Oh and of course, it’s a good opportunity to meet people who can’t attend the actual wedding but can attend the sten do.

Con – Compromise


You’re going to have to compromise on what you do and where you go, which can be annoying if you had plans to do something a bit naughty for your last weekend of freedom. Though to be completely honest, the main nightmare will be both deciding on where to go for the weekend: guys tend to favour the laddish places like Amsterdam and Bournemouth, whilst the women prefer quirky Barcelona and Brighton.

Pro – No jealously


Going away together means that you won’t have any post stag/hen envy, because you’ll both be on the same weekend! You’ll get to see all the same sights, most likely enjoy the same activities and be in a lot of the photos no doubt!


Con – Don’t use it as an excuse to keep an eye on your fiancé


Just because you’re going away on the same weekend doesn’t mean you should watch your other half like a hawk. It’s their leaving do too, so if they want to be silly and get very drunk then they are allowed to. Think about how they’d act if you weren’t there (worse probably) so cut them some slack and enjoy it for the joint celebration that it is.