The Perfect Start: Planning Your Wedding Night Experience
There is so much to think of once you have said “I will” – you have to say “yes” to the dress, the venue, the menu, colours and many more elements. There is so much to think about when you are planning your big day that it can be easy to forget to spend some time thinking about what happens after the “I Dos”, the first dance, the cake has been cut, and your guests have left happy and tipsy. Talking about the wedding night may seem like something out of a Bronte novel, but it is worth spending a little time thinking about logistics.
Underwear
The stereotype is that a bride will wear sexy white or light underwear, complete of course, with stockings, on her wedding day, ready to show to her new spouse at the end of the day as they consummate their marriage. The reality is that the bride may be severely restricted on underwear choices by the dress. Sheer fabrics will mean no lace and to ensure a sleek silhouette, many brides will choose supportive underwear. In all honesty, the concept of irresistibly sexy wedding underwear is a myth; in order to achieve the stunning exterior, some serious scaffolding is usually required underneath.
Finding the right underwear for your wedding dress isn’t the only issue with wedding night underwear; you will probably have been dressed for at least 12 hours, in which time you have been nervous, excited, emotional, happy or sad. There will have been walking, dancing, eating and a host of other activities, so the thought of hopping straight into bed in the same underwear will be about as appealing as rolling in sand. Don’t let go of your dream of wearing exquisite underwear, just modify it. Schedule in a little bit of time to have a shower and change into something that makes you feel great, whether that is a negligee, a camisole, a corset, or a simple underwear set – or nothing! This is your wedding night, you can do it your way.
Performance pressure
Your wedding day is one of the most important and memorable days of your life. Whether you decide to elope or you go for the great big wedding complete with horse and carriage, doves and all the trimmings, it is likely that you have spent weeks, months or even years planning this one day. It is wonderful. However, it can also be stressful, overwhelming and exhausting. The truth is that even if you have the odd glitch; the horse and carriage might not turn up, or maybe your flower girl insists on dressing as Batman- whatever goes wrong, you will, eventually, laugh at the glitches and remember the wonderful bits in all of their glory.
Any good wedding planner will tell you the importance of backups. Tights, blister plasters, safety pins, headache and antihistamine tablets, tissues and baby wipes are just a few of the things in a wedding planner’s bag of tricks, because no matter how well you plan, sometimes life gets in the way. When we think of the wedding night, we think of romance, giggles, and first-night intimacy but the reality of an over tired and over emotional; just as it is a good idea to carry plasters for the inevitable new-show blisters, it may also be advisable to think about backup for the wedding night. There are plenty of drugs available that can take the pressure of the groom on the wedding night. Sildenafil (the drug in Viagra) is available on prescription or in a smaller dose, known as Viagra Connect, over the counter. You may not need it, but it may just give you the boost that you need to enjoy your wedding night despite the pressures of the day.
Plan ahead
If your wedding reception is at a beautiful venue, it is very likely that the happy couple will have the bridal suite for the night. It is also very likely that the same suite will be used for the bridal party to get ready. In the excitement and anticipation of the morning, it is easy to ignore makeup bags, hair pins, tissues, and bucks fizz glasses on the bed and dressing table, but they can be a bit of a mood killer at the end of the day.
The ideal situation is for the bridal party to get ready in a different room, if there is one available (you could always give a bridesmaid the next best room on the condition that you can use it for prep). If you don’t have a separate space to prepare for the day, put your bridesmaids in charge of cleaning up as you go. Bring a box or bag that your designated tidier can stuff left behind bras, makeup brushes and other accoutrements so that your room looks like a romantic haven, rather than an abandoned boudoir.
Be realistic
The most important thing that you need to remember is to not feel under pressure. You have just committed to spend the rest of your lives together, so you have plenty of time to get things right in the bedroom (and beyond). Whether or not your relationship has already been consummated, it can help to talk about the wedding night before the big day. You may even agree not to think about it until your honeymoon when you will hopefully be relaxed, happy and ready to celebrate with just the two of you. Remember that you could both be feeling a bit anxious, and you may both be tired and overwhelmed at the end of a very special day. Don’t rush; you have plenty of time!
