Planning 101 20th April 2015

10 Wedmin Stresses You Can REALLY Do Without

Polka dot bride It's all too easy to become overwhelmed when facing a mammoth wedmin to-do list. What's more, pre-composed to-do lists found on the likes of wedding websites (kinda like this one) often take an all encompassing approach, listing every tiny thing you could ever think of and may or may need. Fear not, however, there's a whole load of things you can VERY legitimately (and satisfyingly) cross off that list. Here are 10 ways you could downsize your wedmin... 1. Too Many Bridesmaids A couple bridesmaids are a God send. Helping you prepare things, DIY things, for carrying your lipstick and keeping your teeth spinach free. More than a couple is tempting when you have a whole bunch of besties, but when the number creeps many over 3-4, helpful turns into be hinderance. There are extra bouquets to organise, more sizes, shapes and colours to accomodate for, hair and makeup becomes a mission, transport becomes more complicated and don't forget you need feed and water them all before the day begins! Driving up costs aside, having too many bridesmaids just adds more and more to your to-do list. A stress you can really do without. 2. Order of Service Cards Unless you're doing something REALLY off the wall, people tend to know what to expect when coming to a wedding ceremony. A bit of music, a bit of chatting, a reading or two, some vows, a kiss and a register. Done. Preparing Order of Service cards is just another stress and expense that isn't all that necessary. It's an easy one to give a miss if you're looking for ways to cut down. 3. Music Set List If you're having live musicians or a DJ don't feel like you need to give them a run down of exactly what you want playing at when. Unless you're a major control freak or horrific music snob, of course. Remember, these guys are professionals and have probably done a bunch of weddings before. They'll have a good idea of what will go down well and when to play what. If there are any specifics you'd like them to include (or miss out!) let them know, then leave the rest to them. Etsy 4. Favours A wise bride said to me recently when I asked about her wedding favours 'Oh we're not bothering, people will just get drunk and forget to take them home'. Point well made, I thought. Whilst it's certainly very nice to give people a little token of thanks, it's really not necessary to spend loads of money, or loads of time DIY-ing for this pretty small part of the wedding. Guests are more likely to appreciate the killer wedding band you got in than the cutesy box of sugared almonds they left on the table. 5. Overbearing Parents If there's ever a wedmin stress you don't need, it's a set (or 2 sets) of meddling parents. Sure, their help is (on the whole) much appreciated, but there comes a point when it becomes a little too much. Demands concerning the guestlist, the venue, how the day should run... the list goes on. If your parents are helping with costs, however, you need to keep them sweet. I'd suggest holding a meeting with them early on to discuss any suggestions or requests they have, take notes and then fit them in with your plans where possible. This way they'll feel they've had input from the beginning and will be satisfied you're taking their wishes into account. 6. Farewell Brunch It's become a bit of a thing in recent years to host a brunch the morning after the wedding. This usually tends to happen when there are a bunch of guests staying at the venue or nearby, but has recently begun to grow into a whole separate event. This is undoubtedly something you can skip. Choosing and organising the food for everyone (and paying for it) is just an added stress when you should be enjoying your first morning as a married couple. My advice: order room service and stay in bed. Your guests aren't going to starve or bemoan your absence at the breakfast table. 7. A Wedding Website Simply put, nobody will look at it. Or very few people. Or if they do, they'll all still call you up anyway to confirm the details they've seen on the wedding website AND their invitations. There are some majorly cool wedding website tools out there where you can get info out to your guests, organise car sharing, accomodation, take song requests, and so much more. But unless you force your guests to RSVP online and don't give them additional sources of information, they simply won't use it properly. Image by Rebecca Douglas Photography - 8. Choreographed First Dance Don't get me wrong, I LOVE a good choreographed first dance (note the word GOOD). But by all means do not feel pressured to make one or (or pay to have one made up!) if it's not totally your cup of tea. If you're not confident dancers you'll just spend hours and hours of your life in the run up to your wedding in painful first dance rehearsals. What's more, on the day itself you'll be wrapped up in trying to remember the dance moves and not actually enjoying the moment. If however, you and your partner are the elaborate, showy type, then go for it! And send us a video please. 9. Save The Dates Maybe I should have put this at the top since it's probably one of the first things you'll do. Oh well. Just a heads up - they're kinda irrelevant. People will get all confused, like, is this the invitation?? Where is it taking place? Do you have a gift list?? And they'll start calling you up immediately to demand information they will ultimately be given when the real invitation arrives. Sure it's cute, and if people are going to have to travel far it can be nice to let them know really well in advance, but a few phone calls made to those people ahead of invitation time will be a far less stressful task than fielding hundreds of Save The Date confusion calls. Also in the wedding world people have started shorting Save The Dates to 'STDs' and that's just kinda put me off them. 10. Personalising EVERYTHING I love a cutesy monogram stamp just as much as the next person, just be careful to not go to far with all the personalisations and make tons more work for yourself. Stamp your invites and menus? Yes. Stamp your napkins and pick n mix bags? No. Pretty much everything you get stamp happy with (or pay for to be printed on!) will ultimately be thrown in the bin, but some things with much more haste than others. Choose wisely dear readers. You can read my ramblings on unique weddings in the Huffington Post here..