​​Keeping the Honeymoon Glow: Managing a Home in Your First Married Year

The excitement and bliss of newlywed life soon gives way to the realities of managing a shared household for the first time. While embarking on this new chapter, it's important for couples to set the stage for a happy home through mutual respect, communication and teamwork.

The thrill of that ‘just married’ feeling can fade as you face the mundane chores and negotiations of daily domestic life. The practicalities of domestic life can reveal gaps between your expectations and preferences.

Though merging two separate lives under one roof can be challenging, it's important not to lose the affection that brought you together. With some effort and understanding, you can navigate this transition smoothly while keeping the honeymoon joy alive.

Compromise on the property itself

Searching for your first home as a family requires compromise. Visions of your dream home may not fully align. Each spouse likely has different must-haves, from the best borough to live in the city to whether you need space for a home office.

Be open about your housing wish list early in the search process. Weigh the importance of features you want against your joint budget. You'll likely need to sacrifice some desires for others. If being able to walk to amenities is more important to one spouse, look for homes in urban areas. If the other dreams of a large garden, focus on areas on the outskirts. 

It’s important to recognise when you'll need to defer to your partner's strong opinion on a home feature, but also speak up if something is an absolute priority for you.

Establish shared expectations

When first living together as a married couple, it's important to discuss your preferences and agree on standards for running your household. Have an open and honest conversation about how you each like to keep your home in terms of cleanliness, tidiness and division of chores. Be upfront about any pet peeves or habits you find frustrating, so they can be addressed early on.

[Image source: Kristina Litvjak on Unsplash]

Come to an agreement on routines and schedules that work for both of your lifestyles, like cooking, cleaning, shopping and paying bills. Be clear on who will take the lead for certain tasks and household responsibilities. You'll likely need to compromise if you have different ideas about how to do things.

Recognise that you'll likely need to adjust expectations and agreements as you settle into cohabitation. Be flexible and willing to reconsider initial routines that aren't working well. Shifting long-held domestic habits can be tricky, so approach this adjustment phase with grace, patience and a big-picture view of your marriage. Having open conversations early on prevents tension and arguments down the line. Though establishing shared expectations may take some work, setting this foundation will set the tone for a harmonious household.

Budget together

Budgeting together is a key aspect of managing your finances as a married couple. Schedule a time to review your incomes, existing debts, assets, and financial goals, so you both have a complete picture of your current financial situation. Discuss any large upcoming purchases or financial decisions to determine how they align with your budget and priorities.

Once your budget is set, it's important to track your actual spending and stick to what you've outlined. Budgeting software or apps can help you monitor this closely. Avoid financial surprises or secrets by agreeing to discuss any new expenses. Overspending behind your spouse's back builds resentment.

If your spending habits or financial styles differ, compromise and diligence are required. Budgeting as a team will likely involve adjustments from how you previously managed money solo. But being transparent and getting on the same page sets you up for financial stability.

Marriage means your finances are intertwined, even if you have separate bank accounts. Creating a shared budget you both contribute to and adhere to fosters trust. Making financial decisions together builds unity and aligns your priorities for the future.

[Image source: Deposit photos]

Maintain open communication

Open and frequent communication is key to managing your first home successfully as newlyweds. Couples need to make it a priority to check in regularly about how things are going with their living situation and relationship. Set aside time to have candid conversations about your feelings on how household responsibilities are being handled, so that problems aren’t ignored for too long.

If your needs are not being met or you feel overwhelmed with the household chores, say so. Admit when certain tasks or routines aren't working for you and listen without judgement and compromise where needed. There are bound to be tasks that one person feels more comfortable doing than others, but just be sure that the balance is still fair.

Conflicts will inevitably arise as you navigate joining your lives under one roof. Resolve arguments in a healthy manner before they spiral out of control. Instead of criticising and speaking with contempt, express how a particular issue makes you feel using "I" statements. Focus on solving the problem together rather than alone.

Sharing the ups and downs of domestic life strengthens intimacy and understanding. Check in on how each of you feels the adjustment to newlywed life is going. Being able to voice concerns, celebrate wins and brainstorm solutions will set you up for a lifetime of effective communication.

The way you jointly manage your home this first year becomes the foundation for your marriage. So, face the challenges with teamwork and understanding. Embrace this opportunity to blend your lives seamlessly while keeping the honeymoon glow alive. With mutual effort, your first home can set the stage for lifelong domestic bliss.

 

 

 

 

 

[Image source:  Julian Hochgesang on Unsplash]